In my mind I’m a butterfly, suckling sweet nectar from a delicate blossom. In reality I’m a demon, draining hot blood from lascivious men.

My tale is a tragedy. When I was alive, I was called Alice. My mortal existence felt incomplete. My only desire was to fill the void and find my better half. At age thirty three my self-pity ceased and I realized I had to be proactive if I ever wanted to find my soul mate. However, I was rash and took shortcuts out of childish impatience. In my hunt, I became the hunted. I was stalked and slaughtered, my soul consumed by Evil Incarnate. His bite condemned me to spend my afterlife a demon like him.

Nightmares foreshadowed my death. I dreamt I was drowning in a rainstorm. As the heavens fell around me I begged god for mercy. I spied a cliff jutting from the water. I swam over to it and climbed up the precipice to safety. When I reached dry land, flung myself prostrate, thanking god for my salvation. The sun drifted out from the clouds, and I realize I was in a lush garden. I felt hunger pangs in my stomach. “Some garden,“ I complained to myself, “where’s the fruit?” No sooner had I thought the words when a trunk sprouted from the dirt. Leaves and berries spit forth from the branches. I picked a berry and shoved it into my mouth. Juice dribbled out, staining my chin a deep red. In my haste I gaged on a seed. Suddenly, a boom echoed through the air. The lush foliage around me crumbled to ash and the garden became a desert. a woman with leathery skin appeared, watching me intently. “Where am I? What happened?” I asked her. “I am Lilith,” she said. “you were banished from the garden. I have been banished too.” “Why?” I began to ask, but I was too late.. Wings had grown out of lilith’s spine,, and I watched as she flew into the sun.

Every night I would wake from this dream shaking, drenched with sweat. But blinded by hubris, I ignored my premonitions and continued my reckless journey. Knowing I couldn’t resist affection, the demon baited me with love. He hoodwinked me by inhabiting the body of an alcoholic firefighter, promising the young man an eternity of carnal delights in exchange for the use of his body as a host. On the last night of my life I went to singles bars to pick up someone hollow like me to spend the night with. I sat at the bar nursing a daiquiri for a few hours before I felt it – like someone was watching me. I looked around and saw a stranger giving me the eye. He appeared benign from afar, so I downed my drink and strutted to his table. I got a better look of him as I approached his booth. An ugly specimen, He had gangly spider limbs and an Aryan complexion. His light green eyes smoldered and his nose looked like it had been broken more than once. When he spoke I noticed that both of his front teeth were chipped. I sensed that he was the violent type. I stood with my mouth hanging over, feeling awkward as I thought of something to break the ice. The man spoke first,

“Hey beautiful. My brand new convertible is parked right outside. How’d you like to go for a ride?” he cocked a wispy eyebrow and winked.

Feeling brave, I dared to let him do for real what he had done already with his eyes.

“Only if it shifts smoother than you” I replied.

In my last human memory I’m kneeling on the floor of his car, sucking on his manhood like a giant lollypop.

I woke up groggy and disoriented. I turned my head to check the clock and noticed I was in a stranger’s bed. Before I could wallow in shame something hit me on the head, and I was knocked out. When I came to, I was tied to two wooden planks, the man standing over me, chanting in gibberish. The demon revealed his true form with a flourish of his hand and a whispered incantation.

“please, please don’t hurt me,” I begged. “I’ll do anything, I swear, just please don’t hurt me!” I sobbed as the demon acted out his cruel intentions.

“Almost done”, he whispered right before he sunk his broken teeth into my throat.

I shrieked as crimson splattered across the demon’s face. He put his mouth over mine, biting my tongue. When he was satisfied, he threw my body into the gutter like a slain prostitute. The demon cackled and said, “I hope you like the taste of blood, whore. That’s all you’ll crave from now on.”

Hours or days later, I awoke in agony. It felt like there was an animal clawing its way out of my intestines.

“It hurts, oh, it hurts so much! What the hell did you do to me?” I cried.

“You’re one of my kinds now, sweetie,” the demon taunted.

He said, “You must be thirsty. Looks like it’s time for my bat to spread her wings and fly the cave”

He sat me down and begins explaining the details of my new immortality.

“You’re a succubus, my dear, a female vampire. You’re soulless, more spiritually empty than you were in your sorry life – that’s impressive,” he snorted with derision.

“Now you’re damned to spend eternity raining hell upon the world until our kind enslaves humanity and the earth becomes our paradise. “

He continued, “But if you wanna see it, you gotta keep yourself alive. You can’t do much on an empty tank. You’ll find your premium unleaded pumping through every sniveling, insignificant organism with a brain. Ironic, though, they’re still so foolish. It’s easy enough,” he chuckled. “Just follow the spiders. Spin yourself a web and lure, trap, kill.”

His lecture wound down, “You were already mostly dead when I took you out of your misery. You’ll have it easy enough adjusting to The Life.”

With the demon’s words in mind ,I set out to find my first victim. I returned to the dive bar where I met my fate. It was three PM, but the building was already packed with the regulars. It was like browsing the selections at a buffet. I finally settled on a tasty looking fellow. He stood out by his clothing, an ironed button down with color coordinated tie. How corporate, I thought. I drained my glass in a gulp and sauntered over to the businessman.

My first time feeding was choreographed like a dance. My meal and I performed our pas de deux behind a bed sheet. He climaxed so suddenly I thought he was having a seizure. I felt his pulse speed up, applauding my exceptional lovemaking. His beady eyes filled with dew as he stared at my mouth, hovering over his femoral artery. He moaned with pleasure, then with pain as I bit into his groin. Hot blood spurted out, tasting like rusty copper, burning the back of my throat like cheap whiskey.

I spent the next morning hacking the man’s body into chunks and made a bourgonion with his flesh. As I ate, I ruminated on the act I’d just committed. I realized the man was more than a piece of meat; he was a soul and a mind as I had once been. But jealousy flared as I thought about his life and people who loved him, his idle hopes and dreams. If I can’t be happy I thought, no one can. My mind wandered down other dark alleys. I got lost imagining my destiny, what challenges the afterlife held for me, and the implications of being immortal.

After some time, I grew wary of my carnal lifestyle. The creator whose abuse I’d grown to desire abandoned me to hunt down fresher blood. I felt like a dirty condom. I decided I needed some entertainment in my life, so I put on bizarre puppet shows with dead children tied to wooden crosses. After years of playing with my human marionettes. I found my own Lolita. She was a temptress like me with shiny mermaid hair and an ample bosom. I seduced her with the promise of eternal beauty. For the first time in my existence I thought I would be genuinely happy.

My doll offered me her soul the first time we made love. As she writhed from orgasm, I grabbed her pear-shaped breasts and bit into the tender flesh between them. But I was careless – I was too excited, and before I could stop myself, I’d swallowed every droplet of blood in her veins. I was in shock. My thirst destroyed the last chance for my salvation. Remorse puddled from my eyes as I watched her body twitch. her soul escaped my clutches; my happiness was dead, and my immortality meant there was no chance in heaven or hell of us being reunited. There was no escape from the pain. Tortured by time, beaten by remorse, raped by insanity, I shut down. I was reduced to a shell of my former being. In my crippled state I built a cocoon around myself to shield me from the horrors of existence. I resolved to spend eternity in hibernation, waiting for the rapture so my wings could flutter me away.


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